I can't escape the Delhi!

The Ali's and The Brazilian

It feels like weeks since I last wrote, and I apologise for this – however there’s been so much to do, and so little time! I’m writing from Kathmandu, Nepal, curled up in my sleeping bag, feeling rather content after a dinner of salted spinach and rice, and clutching the hot water bottle the hostel owner just gave me – the only source of warmth I have come across today!

My last 12 days have been spent with the Ali’s from Adelaide, touring Rajasthan, Northern India, on a Geckos Adventure trip, which took us from the chaos of Delhi, through a number of small ‘off-the-beaten-track’ villages and towns, bustling bazaars, The Taj Mahal (and various other not-so-grand buildings, called any number of names related to ‘Taj’ or ‘Mahal’ in an attempt to fool tourists into thinking they are a decent place to stay/visit), and countless forts and palaces in varying states of grandeur or ruin. The itinerary was great, the accommodation was ridiculously nice (we even had hot water almost every night!), and the transport decent for India – however, while the tour was no doubt intended to expose us three brave travelers to the excitement, intrigue and challenge that is India, it was a very Aussie group we travelled with!

Saleem's Tuk-Tuk

We left Delhi on an early morning train bound for Agra, home of the breathtaking Taj Mahal, the majestic Amber Fort, one ridiculously hard-to-find ATM, and India’s friendliest, proudest, and most Darryl Kerrigan-esque tuk-tuk driver, Saleem. With only one night to spend in Agra, we had great intentions to make the most of our time, and rushed to get out of the hotel and into our exploring as quickly as possible. Saleem had different ideas. Climbing into two tuk-tuk’s outside the hotel – the Ali’s in one, and Carol (‘The Brazilian’) and I in the other – things were looking good for a day of adventure. The Ali’s tuk-tuk driver turned the key and tuk-tuk’d off first, pulling out of the driveway as if his passengers actually had somewhere they might like to be for the day. Saleem also reached forward with the key… to open the small locker, craftily located in the dash of the tuk-tuk, pulling out a range of items he felt we desperately needed to see before we could be on our merry way. With the Ali’s now pulled over amongst a throng of begging children, waiting for our vehicle to catch up, Saleem spent at least the next seven minutes giving us his full life story, complete with his comprehensive family photo album, a photo album of passengers he had driven over the years, laminated references from other Australian passengers, and a book (which Ali F was later lucky enough to get to write in!) filled with testimonials, many of which described the three-toothed Saleem as everything from ‘the most handsome tuk-tuk driver ever’, to ‘Agra’s sexiest man’. Obviously all very accurate descriptions! With our full introduction to Saleem’s family complete, some token oooh’s and aaah’s from The Brazilian in her Brazilian accent, and some witty comments from me about Saleem’s cricket ability, we were finally on our way to rescue the Ali’s from the crowd of begging children they had managed to attract, and we were on our way to explore Agra.

Inside the Agra Fort 

Our day saw us exploring the beautiful Agra Fort, built in the 16^th Century, and now home to countless ‘qualified’ local tour guides, hundreds of monkeys, squirrels and birds, and a breathtaking view of the filth and pollution that lies in the river in front of the Taj Mahal. Yum. Pollution aside, the fort was actually quite spectacular, and provided endless opportunities for Ali B to demonstrate her abstract-photography-prowess, directing the rest of our group in all sorts of strange ways to capture the perfect photo. From the fort, we stopped at a local restaurant for coffee/warm-milk/curd, and met our tour group to make our way to the Taj Mahal, and the excessive amounts of information we had ahead of us!

The Taj Mahal

Built in the 17^th century by Moghul Emperor Shah Jahan, in memory of his third wife who died in childbirth, the Taj Mahal is one of the new Seven Wonders of the World, and is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful buildings on the face of the earth. Strict environmental controls mean you approach the Taj Mahal on an electric ‘emission free’ bus, and then walk the last few hundred meters to the gates of the complex. Lining up was a very surreal experience – knowing that in just a few minutes I would be standing in front of one of the most recognizable buildings the world has to offer, a building I have seen time and time again in magazines and Facebook profile pics, and the building the has undoubtedly hogged the position of token Indian offer in the world of Windows desktop backgrounds – and I was about see it!!! Passing through strict security, and still not quite believing the Taj Mahal was just around the corner, the excitement was beginning to build! As we found throughout our tour, our Gecko’s leader wasn’t so good at the whole ‘information’ thing, and for our Taj Mahal journey we were met by a local tour guide, who we knew we could trust due to his fetching brown knitted outfit, and his porn-star facial hair Ben Howland could only dream of one day matching! I don’t want to bore you with the whole tour we paid for… but will anyway. It went a bit like this…

“Welcome to the Taj Mahal. We are standing just outside the main entrance to the Taj Mahal gardens. This gate (pointing to gate to our left) is the East Gate, because it is in the east. This gate (pointing to gate on opposite side of complex) is called the West Gate, because it is in the west. This gate (points to gate in-front of Taj Mahal) is called the Entrance Gate, because it is the entrance to the Taj Mahal. Now, would anyone like to buy a photograph for 200 rupees?”

…and that was it. Money well spent, thanks Geckos!

Ali B in her best
Princess Diana pose

Stepping through the entrance gate, I was blown away! I was standing in front of the Taj Mahal! Words can’t even describe how majestic, breathtaking and inspiring the building really is. Even the thousands of tourists – pretending they were holding the building up like some bloated version of Pisa, or they were Princess Diana, sprawled across the numerous marble benches around the complex – couldn’t detract from its beauty. The grand marble dome of the tomb, the symmetry of the structures, the perfect alignment, the reflection in the waters – everything was just perfect. After taking our own share of photos, we made our way through the crowds, to take a look inside the tomb, where my perfect day at the Taj Mahal began to come slightly unraveled. To protect the marble inside the Taj Mahal, all visitors are required to wear covers over their feet, which is great – if you have size 8 Indian feet! I however, do not have such feet, and spent the next couple of minutes in quite the comedy of errors, as four of us tried with all our might to stretch the ‘one-size-fits-all’ foot covers to the size required to adequately cover my feet. No deal. Giving up on trying to stretch the covers to size, I had to resort to prioritizing, deciding to use the sock-like protector to cover the front half of each foot, not only leaving my heel hanging out, but also leaving me to spend the next half an hour walking my 198cm frame around on my toes, like some tragic plus-sized fairytale princess, on an oaf-like search for her promised glass slipper. Just how I imagined I would walk around the most famous building in India!!!

My toe protectors...

After a sensational buffet dinner in Agra, we caught an early morning bus, followed by a five hour Jeep ride – sometimes on-road, sometimes off-road (and when the driver of the other vehicle fell asleep while driving, both!) – to the as-quaint-as-you-can-get-in-India village of Tordi Garh. We kept busy with a cart ride behind Mardi Gras dressed camels, a pot of Chai Masala while watching the sun set over the sand dunes, an early morning trek/scrub bash to the Tordi Fort, and an information-rich (maybe 10 words!) local village walk… however nothing compared to the excitement of Jungle Speed! Of course, for those of you who know how to play Jungle Speed, it will come as no surprise to you that it was an exciting evening, however it was the strange looks and conversation that went on through the game that provided the biggest surprise! Sitting down in the warmth of the dining room, ready to flex my Jungle Speed muscles, I invited two random Aussies (Harriet and Alex) to join the Ali’s and myself, and began to explain the rules of J-Speed. Harriet stared. I explained the aim of the game, and the general rules. Harriet still stared. I explained the pictures on the cards, and the use of the totem. Harriet looked at me strangely. At this stage, as the game was about to begin, and I was beginning to think I had become drastically better looking overnight, Harriet piped up, telling me she thought I looked very familiar, but she couldn’t work out where from. Knowing Harriet was from Australia, I posed the next obvious question, determining it was in fact ‘Harriet from Hahndorf’ sitting across from me, and as soon as she knew I was from Adelaide, she gasped, and with a look of smiley fritz joy in here eyes, said “I know where I know you from… you’re the bubbly guy from Mt Barker Woolworths!!!” In the opposite hemisphere, 10000km from home, 5hrs Jeep ride from the nearest sealed road, and I still can’t escape!

The Aussie Jeep

Carol with a Mardi Gras Camel

A cup of chai masala at sunset

After our relaxing two days at Tordi, we jumped back in the Jeeps, bound for ‘The Pink City’ of Jaipur, the capital of Rajasthan. Jaipur is home to the beautiful Amber Fort – more a walled palace than a battle fort – where we spent our first morning, and a bustling old city, where we spent hours wandering the streets for bargains we just didn’t know we needed til we saw them! In the late afternoon, the city’s skyline comes alive with thousands of kites, as school children and the young at heart take to the roof tops of their buildings, creating an amazing display of colour and excitement as far as the eye can see.

A local Jeep

From Jaipur, we were yet again up bright and early, taking an early morning bus to the small village Nimaj Bagh, home to our tour leader, and a beautiful homestay run by his family – the Royals of the area. Our first afternoon was spectacular, as we jumped in some local Jeep’s and headed off on an Indian safari, heading off-road in search of Blue Bulls (belonging to the Antelope family), Eurasian Teal Birds, illegal limestone miners, and the elusive Kingfisher Bird. While the Kingfisher continued to avoid our company, we had a great afternoon bouncing through countryside extremely similar to that which you might find in Australia, and stopped to wander through a local village, seemingly untouched by tourists, and desire for the tourist dollar. Yet another cup of chai masala while watching the sunset finished off a great day.

Some kids in the local village

A Blue Bull

The Jodphur Fort

Heading back to the big city, our next day took us to Jodphur – ‘The Blue City’ – where we spent the afternoon wandering the local market, known for spices, linen, and a particularly inconvenient lack of public toilets, before settling into a local homestay for the night. Our morning was spent with oh-so-dorky audio-guides (and therefore actually managed to get some information on the city!) as we walked the city’s Fort, before heading off toward the ‘Venice of the East’ (supposedly India’s most romantic city), Udaipur.

The Fat&Lazy tourist taxi service...

Th view from the Jodphur Fort

Set on the banks of the Pichola Lake, the city lived up to expectations, with a more European feel than even some European cities I have visited, and surrounded by a beautiful mountain range, providing endless sunset photo opportunities for ‘Abstract-Ali’ and her trusty Lumix camera. We spent hours wandering the winding streets of the city, casually browsing through shops and stalls, and enjoying finally being able to walk the streets with out being accosted or whistled at by shopkeepers intent on referring to me as ‘my friend’, or ‘mate… g’day’. A sunset cruise out to the Lake Palace Hotel, where wedding reception prices start at US$25,000, and walking the gardens of the palace surrounded by squirrels, as the sun set, made it quite obvious why the city is referred to as the most romantic in India – a far cry from the public trains of Mumbai! Dinner at the brilliant Lotus Café, owned by a local man and his wife from Adelaide, saw many in the groups eyes light up, with chocolate or Nutella pancakes, banana split, and hot rice pudding making a welcome change from the standard Indian dessert of rose flavoured milk-extract balls, almost perfectly resembling the texture of an everyday Australian dish-sponge!

Our last night on tour saw us board an overnight train bound for Delhi – a great experience for Carol and I, sharing a cabin with a local Rajasthani family, who made us local dinner on-board (wouldn’t take no for an answer!), and shared with us for hours about their lives, their beliefs, and the issues of the world. After pulling out my laptop for a slide-show and stories of my travels through Morocco, it was time to call it a night, and so began the challenge of trying to find a way to sleep on a bed built for someone about two feet shorter than myself – no easy task! With my legs creatively hooked up in the ladder for the bed above, I did manage to get some sleep, providing me just enough energy to start a cult movement, and get five of us kicked out of Delhi’s most popular tourist attraction the next day… a story for a later post!